Thursday, June 28, 2012

May 18th, 2009 (Revised June 28th, 2012)

     I haven’t thought about her all that much since last night.  That in itself has me wondering why? What has changed? She use to be in my every thought. From the day I first saw her she has haunted me.
     I would sit for hours it seemed, just to catch a glimpse of her. I would lay awake at night going over the words I wanted to say to her. I rehearsed them in my mind until there were perfect.
     I rushed downstairs every morning anxious to proclaim how I felt about her only to clam up and fade back when I saw her.
     Eventually I did manage to say hi to her. I even went as far as having a conversation or two. Each time though I felt so inadequate, so insecure, that I told myself I had no right sitting next to her.
     The strange part is there are several women that I talk with on a daily basis. I look forward to seeing them. They are a joy to be around, even when they make me blush, which they often do.
      So why do I keep at a distance the one I want to talk to most? What is different about her?  If anything?  What since last night has changed in me where I don’t think about her as much?

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